Ouch. The guy in the café I’m currently writing in is so good looking it hurts. Or is that just the Fibro? It’s hard to tell, right now I’m a raging ball of zombies so I could be giving him more credit than he deserves. He is bloody yummy though. Oh God, I’m objectifying again, I’m such a hypocrite *rolls eyes*
I was having some really weird stuff happening to me (yes I’m well aware that my entire life consists of “weird stuff” but shhh you I’m trying to talk. Type. Whatever) that was beyond my usual Fibromyzombies boundaries. Like, nausea for example, not the kind you get where you throw up but the kind you get all the time whether you are eating or not. Then there was disorientation, which yes, I do get with Fibro but not to the extent where almost every day I was having a moment of “Where am I again?”. You know when you stay the night at someone else’s house and when you wake up in the morning you get the “Where in the smeg am I? Oh. Yeah, Dennis’s house, shit.” Kind of thing? It was just like that. Couple that up with intense pain and movement issues, lack of sleep and a general feeling that if it didn’t stop soon I may have to ask someone lovely to just knock me out with a hammer it was rather………interesting.
The lovely doctor with the fabulous German accent thinks I’m getting side effects from my medication. Baring in mind I’ve been on these meds for quite a long time it seemed kind of odd that they would start having a mega-freak out jamboree all of a sudden but when he showed me the list of side effects it really made sense. They may as well have been a picture of my grinning face pointing directly at the camera and captioned “Dance off Bitch”.
The Doctor wasn’t the one I usually see but he did something wonderfully reassuring. At the start of our appointment when I mentioned Fibromyalgia he shook his head and said “There is just no way of explaining to someone else just how much pain you are in and how tired you are is there.” And smiled at me sympathetically. I knew immediately that this guy was an absolute dude and I didn’t feel ashamed for being there. Let’s give a big Woo Hoo for Dr Karlbaum. You better have Woo Hooed, I have ways of knowing if you didn’t.
So we are going to fiddle with the meds a bit, a reduced dosage of one and a split dosage of the other. It seems to be working slowly, although over the weekend I had to deal with a) the side effects I was already going through and b) withdrawal from the meds that had been reduced. Luckily I was visiting my Mum and my brother and they came up trumps with Take-Away Food, computer games and a care package of food so that I wouldn’t have to go shopping on my own whilst feeling like the great plagues had hit me all at once. My folks are awesome.
One of the other upsides of reducing one of my meds is that I seem to be getting some of my sex drive back. My mojo has been a little non-existent of late but it seems to be seeping back in. Baristas of Cheltenham beware, I have a type and they make good coffee.
I am starting to feel a little more like a human being now although I’m still in a lot of pain. Keeping my chin up as per usual is the order of the day plus some lovely yoga in the morning complete with candles, incense and plinky plonky music.
Hopefully in a week or so I’ll feel less like a muggle and more like the Gryffindor that I know I can be.
Warm and Fluffy Feelings